THE MOST IMPORTANT CONVERSATION!!!

“If you want to change your life, begin by changing your words. Start speaking the words of your dreams, of who you want to become, not the words of fear and failure.” -- Robert Kiyosaki

“Every waking moment we talk to ourselves about the things we experience. Our self-talk, the thoughts we communicate to ourselves, in turn control the way we feel and act.” John Lembo


I AM starting to realize that the MOST IMPORTANT conversation I have on any subject is the one that I have with MYSELF. It is the things I TELL myself about situations or people in my life that cause me JOY or PAIN. It is usually NOT actually the situation or person themselves.

I realize most arguments I have with my husband or others are NOT because of what THEY SAID OR DID but more because of what I SAY TO MYSELF ABOUT what they said or did. It is my self-talk, MY BELIEFS ABOUT WHAT THEY SAID OR DID that cause me emotional pain. Most of the time it is the way I INTERPRET what was said or done, and not what they actually said or did that causes me to OVER-REACT and take OFFENSE.

Lately, when I over-react I am LEARNING TO QUESTION MY OWN THOUGHTS, and learning to DISPUTE MY BELIEFS, to question if they really are BASED ON FACT or just my FEARS AND RESISTANCE to something I don’t want to hear or do. I am beginning to realize that JUST BECAUSE I BELIEVE something doesn’t make it true, that most of the time my beliefs are just BAD HABITS OF THOUGHT or fears and are actually FACTUALLY INCORRECT.

This is also true when I find myself MAKING EXCUSES as to why I CANNOT do something. I am learning to examine these beliefs and finding out that MOST OF THE TIME they are just excuses and sometimes when I actually DO what I think I CANNOT do it is the best way to CHANGE MY BELIEF ABOUT MYSELF AND MY ABILITIES.

KNOWING this helps me RECOGNIZE it in action in my clients and others as well. Yesterday morning my husband told me that he was planning to go to the gym at night and really push hard, do an intense cardio workout, etc. When he came home at night and I asked him how was his workout, he hesitated and then started GIVING EXCUSES, talking about WHY he didn’t do what he had INTENDED TO DO.

WHAT HAPPENED between the morning intention and the evening workout? He had a CONVERSATION WITH HIMSELF that changed his mind. He told himself he DIDN’T HAVE TIME to do his cardio, he didn’t want to get injured by doing too much, etc. HIS MIND STOPPED HIM from doing what he INTENDED TO DO.


Examine the QUALITY OF THE CONVERSATION you have with yourself. What thoughts do you think? What do you TELL YOURSELF ABOUT YOURSELF? About your ABILITIES? About what OTHERS SAY to you? When someone says or does something that makes you overreact, EXAMINE what thoughts are you TELLING YOURSELF about the situation and how are you INTERPRETING what was said or done. Look for ways to DISPUTE YOUR BELIEFS about what is making you sad or angry. LOOK FOR EVIDENCE to see how your belief MAY NOT BE TRUE and how you can LOOK AT THIS DIFFERENTLY and how you can THINK ABOUT THIS DIFFERENTLY. It might just change the QUALITY of your life as I know it IS CHANGING the QUALITY of mine.


WISHING YOU LOVE, JOY, PEACE AND PROSPERITY,


SUE FIT